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Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

How to Report News

Chris Booker gives a special report on every boring special report that you’ve ever seen on the news.

And some other reporters get good backgrounds actions:

Can I have your number?

Damn.
DAMN!
OH DAMN!
Ok, ok, ok.
Ahem.
‘Scume ca’I talk to yo fo a minute?
ESCUME ca’I TALK TO YOU FO A MINUTE?

Uhh, yeah, whats up?

Uhh, yeah, uhh, my name Darrell, its spelled like Darrell but it’s said pronounced Darrell.
Uhh, yeah, I just wanna let you know the back of your head IS RIDICULOUS!

Uhh, thanks.

Yeah, you are WELCOME.

Where’s your boyfriend?

Oh my, wha—uh, who?

Your boyfriend! Where your boyfriend at? Is she getting’ you refreshments? Is he tall? Is he gettin’ you Mike n Ikes? Oh, you like Mike n Ikes? Is he hefty? Is he comin’ back? Where your boyfriend? Where you boyfriend at? Where your boyfriend?

Oh—uh I don’t, I don’t have a boyfriend.

Oh you DON’T? Oh you DON’T have a boyfriend?
Oh ok, ok, ok, dats coo, yeah.
So LISTEN, umm, I was wonderin’, can I have yo numba? Can I have yo numba?

No, I-I-I don’t give out my number…in theaters, where I’m about to watch a movie.

Ohhh, oh ok, ok, dats coo, dats coo, I get it, you know.
You-You all into ponderin’ like cinemas n make believes n celluloids.
Yeah, yeah ok, ok, me too, me too, ok, yeah, yeah, I respect that. Yeah, keep doin’ your thing Miss Shallot. Miss Gene Shallot. Yeah, yeah that’s cute.

WHAT’S YOUR NAME DELICATE?

OHH! OHH! Umm..Yvonne.

OH YVONNE?
AW DAMN! HOLD UP!
THAT’S A FRENCH *** NAME YVONNE!
Yeah my lil croissant. Lil cheese, on my croissant. YEAH, mmmm!
So LISTEN, Ca’I have yo numba? Could I have yo numba?

Look, this is my day off and I just want to watch this movie…alone. I’m sorry.

Oh ok, ok, no I get it, I get it. I respect that.
…
So I can’t have it??

Uhh, no I just don’t give it out.

OOOOOOHHHH, ok, ok, I get it, I get it.
Ok, you uhh, you bein’ all selective ‘cause you got a PONYTAIL. RIGHT? RIGHT?
You think a lotta men cant handle the REGALNESS of a UP DO, right? Right?
You all like Grace Kelly. Grace Kelly. Grace Kelly.

No, no I’m not being anything because I have a ponytail.

Oh, Yvonne, Yvonne, Yvonne, Yvonne, Girl. Yvonne, Yvonne. Don’t be insecure girl.
OWN that ponytail! WORK that up do!

OK, I will.

Aw damn, you kinda sexy when you take my advice, girl, I like that.
Yeah, I like that, yeah.
So, uh, so listen, CA’I HAVE YO NUMBA? Could I have it? Could I have it? Could I please receive the secret code that if entered telephonically it will pass me through to you which means it will be your beautiful *** numba?

No, no.

Could I have it? No come on could I have it? Can I have it? Could I have it? Can I? Can I? Can I have it? Ca’I have it? [Sniff, sniff] Can I have it?

No, no, the previews are about to start and I-I just want to ponder them…alone, so, but thanks anyway.

Oh, ok, ok alright, dats coo, dats coo, no, no, I get it, you know. You wanna like, you know, go through the all the intricacies of cinema. Ok. Ok. Yeah, so you, you know, keep-you keep doin’ your thing. You know, keep doin your thing. Yvonne Shallot, Yvonne Shallot. My little brie, yeah, ok bye. Alright, alright. I will miss you, though, will miss you. Alright you enjoy your day girl, alright? Take care. Alright. I luh you…

April Fool’s Day Hoaxes

The funny in cocky and funny:

Top 100 April Fool’s Day Hoaxes

Perfect Date Profile

Tony’s video profile

“Super Freak” Dude… take ur fucking medication!

Bags vs. Skirt

Upskirt Train

Car Cleaning

Cleaning

Skirt